Thats a question that has been rolling around my head for quite a while now, and when I think about it, the answer is yes. I've changed quite abit.
Not only has my appearance changed dramatically since this time last year, my personality has changed too. I'm less of a closed box, shy person. I like to think I put myself out there abit more now, and am a more approachable person to talk to.
I've already started to notice that when I walk, I walk abit prouder, not ashamed about myself.
As another way of putting it, I refer to a quote I heard from someone a while back. "Nuts on the road". Lay whatever i've got out and just go for it. Why the fuck not?
I've recently started doing Karate properly, at a local club. I've always been interested in martial arts, especially from an early age, but never had the motivation or the facilities to do so. So i've been really lucky finding this club. I already know that it's something I want to do. I think this and perhaps one other thing are the activities I want to persue properly.
That other thing being music. I'm not good at writing songs, infact I'm fucking awful at writing songs. But I think if I worked with the right person/people, i've possibly got the potential and the ability to atleast fulfill my expectaions from my music. Now all i've got to do is find the right people, though i've already got some people in mind...
I've just realised that everything i've just written wont make much grammatical sense, but fuck it, I cant be arsed to go back and sort it all out now.
I've also realised how much i've been neglecting my blog. I think the title of the blog has really put me off. I might have to either rename the blog, or just start a new one. The title really doesn't reflect my feelings at the moment. (I'll keep you posted on that decision).
Uni is starting again soon, I'm happier and more confident, things are looking up!
I really cant wait for the next few weeks - they're going to be mint!
Thursday 29 September 2011
Tuesday 13 September 2011
It's been a while, some big changes
As the title suggests, it's been a while since i've posted here. Should really get back into the habit of updating this more frequently. It'll atleast give me something to do on these long days where i've got fuck all to do.
Some of you may be wondering what i've been doing recently? Not much, to be honest, but there have been a few activities to keep me from going insane.
On the Saturday just gone, I did my first shift as an agency worker, which was pretty cool. It really helped me build up my confidence when meeting new people, by throwing me right out of my comfort zone. I also earned a fair wad of tips. Winner!
Whilst I shouldn't be proud of this, I've been playing alot of CoD online. This isn't a particuarly commendable activity, but it has appeased my boredom, and made me realise a few things.
That age old saying "practice makes perfect" is actually true. I've noticed myself getting better at it, getting a better score in each game, using different weapon combinations.
There is only really one thing I can take from this though, that being that if you put enough time and energy into something, you really will start to see results.
I had another realisation of this today during my asthma review at the doctors. The lovely doctor decided to check my height and weight, which initially I was a little concerned about. To my surprise, I heard some fantastic results, which has really renewed my outlook on everything I do, or decide to do in life.
Since my last weight check at the doctors, which was just before christmas, I have lost 33kg (approx 5st)
The last time I weighed myself at the gym, before I went home for the summer, I was 95kg (approx 14st 8 Ounces)
When the doctor weighed me today, I was 83kg (approx 13st)
For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely proud of myself.
There is still alot more work to be done, but it again shows that if you really put effort into something, you really do see results.
This somehow ties in quite closely to my thoughts recently, in the fact that i'm not really good at anything.
I've been trying to put my life into perspective, and think of things that i'm really good at. While I can list loads of things that I can do, I can't think of any that i'm really good at. And then when I think of my friends, and the things that immediately pop into my head is everything that they're really good at.
It makes me sad to think that my life hasn't got a particular direction; a lack of focus. I need to choose one of the things that I can do, and put more effort into it, so I can look back on my life, and think of all the things i've acheived while persuing it.
Choosing one thing to persue is going to be difficult. I might need help with that decision.
I'd like to say that this is going to be the turning point in my life, but I don't want to make that promise to myself.
What I can say this is, is the point at which I get the motivation to finally do something to make myself happier, to make myself good at something, and to make people proud of me for once.
In summary, i'm going to give myself a serious kick up the arse to get on and do something worthwhile with my short amount of time on this blessed Earth.
Some of you may be wondering what i've been doing recently? Not much, to be honest, but there have been a few activities to keep me from going insane.
On the Saturday just gone, I did my first shift as an agency worker, which was pretty cool. It really helped me build up my confidence when meeting new people, by throwing me right out of my comfort zone. I also earned a fair wad of tips. Winner!
Whilst I shouldn't be proud of this, I've been playing alot of CoD online. This isn't a particuarly commendable activity, but it has appeased my boredom, and made me realise a few things.
That age old saying "practice makes perfect" is actually true. I've noticed myself getting better at it, getting a better score in each game, using different weapon combinations.
There is only really one thing I can take from this though, that being that if you put enough time and energy into something, you really will start to see results.
I had another realisation of this today during my asthma review at the doctors. The lovely doctor decided to check my height and weight, which initially I was a little concerned about. To my surprise, I heard some fantastic results, which has really renewed my outlook on everything I do, or decide to do in life.
Since my last weight check at the doctors, which was just before christmas, I have lost 33kg (approx 5st)
The last time I weighed myself at the gym, before I went home for the summer, I was 95kg (approx 14st 8 Ounces)
When the doctor weighed me today, I was 83kg (approx 13st)
For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely proud of myself.
There is still alot more work to be done, but it again shows that if you really put effort into something, you really do see results.
This somehow ties in quite closely to my thoughts recently, in the fact that i'm not really good at anything.
I've been trying to put my life into perspective, and think of things that i'm really good at. While I can list loads of things that I can do, I can't think of any that i'm really good at. And then when I think of my friends, and the things that immediately pop into my head is everything that they're really good at.
It makes me sad to think that my life hasn't got a particular direction; a lack of focus. I need to choose one of the things that I can do, and put more effort into it, so I can look back on my life, and think of all the things i've acheived while persuing it.
Choosing one thing to persue is going to be difficult. I might need help with that decision.
I'd like to say that this is going to be the turning point in my life, but I don't want to make that promise to myself.
What I can say this is, is the point at which I get the motivation to finally do something to make myself happier, to make myself good at something, and to make people proud of me for once.
In summary, i'm going to give myself a serious kick up the arse to get on and do something worthwhile with my short amount of time on this blessed Earth.
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