I've become a student!

It's taken me well over 3 years, but I think i've finally cracked it.
I stayed a whole hour after my lecture today to consolodate my notes, to make it easier for me to do my assignment. I'm even doing extra reading, and planning reports! What the fuck has happened to me?

I've coasted my way through life, doing the bare minimum to get by, but something over the past few days has clicked in my head, and i've finally found some motivation to do well, strive for the best and "be all I can be".
Couldn't have come a second too soon really, I actually want to do well now.
Maybe it's something to do with the company I keep now? Or the fact that i've realised now i'm in second year, i've actually got to do some work. Either way, i'm getting a decent nights sleep, writing up lecture notes, planning assignments.
I actually shock myself sometimes.

I've been neglecting updating here recently, mainly because i've had some really dodgy stuff on my mind, keeping me down.
I've recently been given some pretty shocking news, that has fucked with me quite alot. And whilst I keep my game face on well when i'm in public, it's actually tearing me up abit.
Now i've been getting letters from relevant people, and i'm starting to get abit scared.
I don't openly admit to being scared about much, but i'm actually scared now.
The other day, I even contemplated starting drinking again. I was so very tempted to buy a bottle of brandy, but decided that drinking wasn't going to help anything, especially considering the frame of mind i'm in at the moment.

I've a few things to look forward to though. Apart from the issue i'm dealing with, lifes been looking up for me for a change.
Got my awesome vintage watch in the post to me. It'll be awesome when that arrives.
I've also realised that i've got alot more friends than I originally thought. It's amazing how many people you realise actually care when you need someone to talk to.
I've also been getting on quite well with Karate. Whilst I know it's still early days, i'm getting quite alot of positive comments from sensei, which is a real confidence booster.

In general, pretty mixed up with my emotions recently. Have my good days and my bad days, but life goes on.
Just got to keep on moving, getting on with everything, and staying positive.

Double pictures today - Just for you!